Genre: Essays

Against Winning

For fewer but more perfect blooms,
experts say to prune the buds.

—Sara Wainscott, Insecurity Systems


The ideas in this essay have not led me to quit or walk away from any role or job I currently hold. But …

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If Your Dreams Don’t Scare You


I don’t remember what they called that night. Someone drove us to a house off campus. Someone blindfolded us. Someone lined us up around the perimeter of a pool. They made us practice fundamentals—low mark time (heel up, toes …

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My Mother’s Gowns


At some point a few months after my mother’s death I’d become edgy at home, slipping into argumentative fits followed by apology and abjection. I didn’t understand the pain and weakness in my arms. I’d been sleeping only a …

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In Paradise

When I was young and a good listener, a man told me he had lost his soul. 

We sat on a strip of flattened grass outside the gas station I’d cranked my junker car into. I was waiting for a …

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She takes the test on her birthday. 

“You’ll want a baby right away, won’t you?” he’d joked three months earlier, before their August wedding.

She’d demurred, but she knew she was lying. By November, there it is: a growth, a …

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I Want This to Be True

There are diamonds inside

Although the Leonid meteor shower is not a rare occurrence, it is rare that I will be awake to see it. The news has been reporting that the meteor shower is coming, that a certain province …

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