Epithalamion

 

When I was a girl in Wisconsin, I dreamed I ’d marry

a man from Michigan. Then I did. When I was a man

from Michigan, I dreamed I ’d marry a begonia,

flowers choked with pollen. When I was a flower

from Michigan, I dreamed I ’d marry a comet

swooping around Jupiter, warming as it

hurtled toward Mars, growing a slick ice tail.

Remember Roethke’s boyhood in Michigan,

all the bogs and swamps and German ladies

pruning roses in hothouses while Midwestern

snows settled on dormant backyards?

When I was the snows of Michigan,

I dreamed I married a hothouse.

Remember the snap of the branch

in the dark fecund hothouse.

I used to smoke so many cigarettes.

When I was a cigarette in Michigan, I dreamed

I  ’d marry the sidewalk. When I was the sidewalk,

I dreamed I ’d marry Milwaukee. When I was Milwaukee,

I dreamed I ’d marry Lake Michigan.

All around me, photos document my heteronormativity.

When I was Lake Michigan, I dreamed I  ’d marry

a sea lamprey. When I was a sea lamprey,

I dreamed I ’d marry the side of a trout

darting through algae. When I was an algal bloom,

I dreamed I ’d marry a farmer. Quit listening.

Say no to who I am. When I was a farmer,

I dreamed I married the government.

When I was the government, I dreamed I married

every gnarly bluff east of the Mississippi.

There’s the Mississippi, Old Man River,

the Big Muddy, etc., etc. When I was a muddy

old river, I dreamed I married a pumpkin patch.

When I was a girl in Wisconsin, I arranged pumpkins

in my front yard to sell to tourists from Chicago.

When I was a tourist from Chicago,

I dreamed I married a pastoral fantasy.

I cracked open a rock and it was loaded

with crystals. When I was a crystal, I dreamed

I ’d marry the sky. When I was the sky, I dreamed

I ’d marry a girl from Wisconsin. When I was pregnant,

I dreamed I married my fetus. A muddy river

separated us. I woke up hungry, narrating

an epic poem. The Odyssey did not foretell my marriage.

When I was Odysseus, I dreamed I married

all of Penelope’s hanged maids, even though

I hanged them. Their dangling feet twitched

across our wedding night. When I was

a hanged maid, I dreamed I married the law.

But there was no law. When I was

lawlessness, I dreamed I married a chorus.

Their song split open Lake Michigan.

At its bottom, a baby gulped the new air.

 

Rebecca Lehmann is the author of the poetry collection Between the Crackups (Salt, 2011). Her poems have appeared in Boston Review, Ploughshares, Tin House, Fence, and other journals. She lives in South Bend, Indiana, where she is an Assistant Professor of English at Saint Mary’s College.